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Sri Lanka Family
Among all ethnic and caste groups, the most important social
unit is the nuclear family--husband, wife, and unmarried
children. Even when economic need causes several families
(Sinhala, ge; Tamil, kudumbam) or generations to
live together, each wife will maintain her own cooking place and
prepare food for her own husband as a sign of the individuality
of the nuclear family. Among all sections of the population,
however, relatives of both the wife and the husband form an
important social network that supports the nuclear family and
encompasses the majority of its important social relations. The
kindred (pavula, in Sinhala) of an individual often
constitute the people with whom it is possible to eat or marry.
Because of these customs, local Sinhalese society is highly
fragmented, not only at the level of ethnic group or caste, but
also at the level of the kindred.
The kinship systems of Sri Lanka share with most of South
Asia and the Middle East the institution of preferred crosscousin marriage. This means that the most acceptable person for a
young man to marry is the daughter of his father's sister. The
most suitable partner for a young woman is the son of her
mother's brother. Parallel cousins--the son of the father's
brother or the daughter of the mother's sister--tend to be
improper marriage partners. There is a close and special
relationship between children and their aunts or uncles, who may
become their fathers- or mothers-in-law. Special kinship
terminology exists in both Tamil and Sinhalese for relatives in
preferred or prohibited marriage categories. In many villages,
people spend their entire childhood with a clear knowledge of
their future marriage plans and in close proximity to their
future spouses. The ties between cross-cousins are so close in
theory that persons marrying partners other than their crosscousins may include a special ritual in their marriage ceremonies
during which they receive permission from their cousins to marry
an outsider. The system of cross-cousin marriage is ideally
suited to maintaining the closed ritual purity of an extended
kinship group and retaining control over property within a small
circle of relatives.
The vast majority of marriages in Sri Lanka are monogamous,
that is, they involve one woman and one man. Unions between one
man and more than one woman (polygyny) are neither illegal nor
unknown, however, and wealthy men can take several wives if they
can afford to support the families. Unions involving one woman
and more than one man (polyandry) are also legal and possible.
In the Kandyan region, descent and inheritance are traced
through both spouses: both husband and wife possess their own
property and may bequeath at in equal shares to their
descendants. In the low country, where Dutch Roman Law is in
effect, marriages create joint property between husband and wife,
which on their death is divided among their heirs. On the east
coast, Tamil Muslim families trace descent and inheritance
through the mother, and men will typically reside with their inlaws . There is a preference for living near the husband's family
in most areas of the country, although a family with no sons may
prefer that a son-in-law live nearby and manage their lands.
Among all the variations of inheritance and descent, the husband
is typically the manager of the nuclear family's property and
represents his family in most public duties and functions.
In the rural areas of Sri Lanka, traditional marriages did
not require a wedding ceremony or legal registration of the
union. The man and the woman simply started living together, with
the consent of their parents (who were usually related to one
another). This type of customary marriage still survives,
although it has been declining in recent years. In 1946, about 30
percent of marriages in Sri Lanka were not registered, but in
1981 that figure had declined to 10 percent. Most such unions
were concentrated along the north and east coasts and in the
Central Highlands. Legal divorce is easy to obtain, and divorces
of customary marriages occur through mutual consent of the
partners in consultation with their extended families. Most
marriages, however, are quite stable because of the considerable
social pressure and support exerted by kindred of both the
husband and the wife. In 1981 the divorce rate per 10,000 persons
amounted to only 30.5.
Most Sri Lankan families have small means and do not spend
large sums on wedding parties. Among wealthier families in both
the countryside and the cities, marriages occur more often
between families that were not previously related, and more
elaborate ceremonies take place. In such cases the bride may
receive a substantial dowry, determined beforehand during long
negotiations between her family and her future in-laws. Preceding
these well-publicized affairs are detailed discussions with
matchmakers and astrologers who pick the most auspicious times
for the marriage. Except for some of the well-educated urban
elite, the parents arrange all marriages, although their children
may meet future spouses and veto a particularly unattractive
marriage. The average age at marriage has been increasing in
recent years because of longer periods required for education and
establishing a stable career. In 1981 the average age of grooms
was twenty-seven or twenty-eight, and the average age of brides
was twenty-four. Betrothals arranged by parents could begin much
earlier, and in rural areas marriages between persons in their
early teens still occurred. Whatever the arrangements, however,
marriage and the propagation of children were the desired state
for all groups, and by age thirty-nine, 86 percent of both sexes
had married at least once.
All ethnic groups in Sri Lanka preserve clear distinctions in
the roles of the sexes. Women are responsible for cooking,
raising children, and taking care of housework. In families
relying on agriculture, women are in charge of weeding and help
with the harvest, and among poor families women also perform
full-time work for the more well-to-do. The man's job is to
protect women and children and provide them with material
support, and in this role men dominate all aspects of business
and public life. At the center of the system are children, who
mix freely until puberty and receive a great deal of affection
from both sexes. As they enter their teens, children begin to
adopt the adult roles that will keep them in separate worlds:
girls help with household chores and boys work outside the home.
Among the middle- and upper-income groups, however, education of
children may last into their early twenties, and women may mix
with males or even take on jobs that were in the past reserved
for men. There has been a tendency to view the educational
qualifications of women as a means for obtaining favorable
marriage alliances, and many middle-class women withdraw from the
workplace after marriage.
Data as of October 1988
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