Cyprus Marriage and Family
Kyrenia (Girne)
Courtesy Office of the "Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus,"
Washington
Turkish Cypriots were generally concerned with
promoting the
honor, prestige, and economic prosperity of their
families. A major
part of the thought, energy, and income of the family went
to
educating children, marrying them well, and helping them
find good
jobs. More than in most Western societies, Turkish
Cypriots were
conscious of their family as a whole and identified
strongly with
how its individual members fared as part of this whole.
However,
socio-economic changes in recent decades have led to the
existence
of two types of families in Turkish Cypriot society:
traditional
and largely rural, and modern and urban.
The traditional family maintained strong links between
the
nuclear or core family and the extended family. The
extended family
included the parents' siblings and their children,
grandparents,
and in many cases second and third cousins. Within this
family
network, financial and social support were key links among
the
members. When one of the extended family suffered economic
hardship, that person could expect aid from able
relatives. It was
also common to help relatives in the field or on the farm.
The nuclear or core traditional family might include
not only
the husband and wife and their unmarried children, but
also a newly
married son and his family, and sometimes the mother's
parents. The
presence of the mother's parents in the core family was an
important variation from the traditional Turkish family
structure,
in which the husband's parents lived with the family.
According to traditional Turkish family structure, the
bride
married into the groom's family and became virtually a
servant to
the household. The legitimation of the bride's lower
status was
found in the custom of baslik parasi (bonnet money)
practiced in traditional Turkish society and reintroduced
into
Cyprus by some Turkish settlers after 1974. According to
this
custom, money or valuable goods were paid to the bride's
father by
the bridegroom and his family. If the bridegroom was
unable to meet
the amount specified by the bride's father, the marriage
could not
occur. In this practice, the money paid to the father did
not go
toward helping the newlyweds in any form. Rather, the
money stayed
with the girl's father. Widely practiced in rural Turkey,
the
custom frequently results in the marriages of unwilling
brides. The
long absence of this custom among Turkish Cypriots was a
sign of
women's more secure and higher status on the island.
Turkish Cypriots employed a different form of financial
arrangement in marriages, drahoma, a dowry custom
of Greek
Cypriot origin. It is probable that over the centuries the
Turkish
Cypriots recognized the advantages of this custom and
adapted it to
their own needs. Drahoma, as practiced by Greek
Cypriots,
required that the bride's family provide substantial
assistance to
the newlyweds. Turkish Cypriots modified it to include
assistance
from both families. Traditionally, the bride's family
provided a
house, some furniture, and money as part of their
daughter's dowry.
The bridegroom's family met the young couple's remaining
housing
needs. If the bride's family was unable to provide such
assistance,
the young couple lived with the bride's family until they
saved
enough money to set up their own separate household.
Lastly, the
bride brought to her new home the rest of her dowry, known
as
cehiz, making the new family financially more
secure. The
advantages of drahoma were so obvious to the
Turkish Cypriot
community that modern families also practiced it.
In the traditional Turkish Cypriot family, the father
had the
last word in his children's choice of spouses.
Customarily, the
bride and groom did not have a chance for individual
visits prior
to their engagement. Usually, an elderly member of the
suitor's
family went to the young woman's parents and asked for her
hand in
marriage. If her father agreed, gifts were exchanged
between the
two families and the engagement took place.
Originally, the wedding ceremonies for the bridegroom
and bride
occurred separately. Turkish Cypriots no longer practiced
this
custom. Only the Turkish rural migrants to Cyprus
continued the
tradition of separate ceremonies. In rural Turkish Cypriot
society,
the bride and bridegroom attended the same ceremony and
the
festivities lasted for several days.
Women of traditional families generally did not work
outside
the home. Their responsibility was to tend to the
traditional
domestic tasks, while husbands and sons dealt with
business and
other concerns outside the home.
In contrast to the traditional family, the modern
family
structure revolved around the nuclear family and had a
distinctly
urban character. While maintaining close social ties with
the
extended family, members of the nuclear family remained
economically isolated from other relatives. There were
joint
economic relations among nuclear and extended family
members, but
they were far less common than with the traditional
family.
Another important difference between traditional and
modern
families was that marriage was not under the strict
control of the
father. Young couples often decided on marriage
themselves.
Although dating, as practiced in the United States, was
not common
even at the beginning of the 1990s, couples met together
in small
groups of friends. Once a couple decided to marry, both
sets of
parents were consulted. The families then arranged the
engagement
and marriage. As noted, drahoma was also practiced
by modern
urban families.
The modern family usually consisted of only the
husband, wife,
and unmarried children. Large multigenerational extended
families
were unusual. While the husband continued even in the
1980s to have
a strong decision-making role, the wife became
increasingly
involved in the family's economic and social choices. A
major
factor in the wife's changing family role was that she
also worked
outside the home to support the family.
Working wives and mothers were a relatively new
phenomenon in
Turkish Cypriot society. Until the post-1974 period, few
women
worked outside the home and even fewer had professional
educations.
Men's earnings had to be sufficient to satisfy the needs
of their
families, and women typically remained home and focused
their
efforts on raising their children.
After the 1974 war, this traditional arrangement lost
its
predominance. Once Turkish Cypriots established a
government of
their own, they faced immense difficulties in managing its
institutions and creating a functioning economy. Adding to
the
intrinsic difficulties of these tasks were the lack of
international recognition of their state and the Greek
Cypriot
economic blockade. Under these circumstances, women's
participation
in the work force became essential to meet both their
state's and
their families' needs. Building a new state required
officials to
hire trained personnel of both sexes to fill positions in
the
bureaucracy. As a result, Turkish Cypriot women came to be
employed
outside the home to a much greater extent than previously.
Women's absence from home worked a hardship on families
with
children. For the first time, child care became a serious
issue in
Turkish Cypriot society. Day-care centers were established
in many
cases, but when day-care centers were unavailable,
grandparents
frequently helped care for their children's offspring. The
emergence of the child care problem was an unfortunate
result of
women's employment. It was an indication, however, that
the
structure of many Turkish Cypriot families in urban areas
had
become Westernized, in contrast to how Turkish Cypriots
had lived
a generation earlier.
Divorce was legal in the "TRNC." During the first eight
years
of the 1980s, there was an increase in the number of
divorces, from
149 in 1980 to 177 in 1987. The increase was slightly
higher than
the increase in marriages, which went from 1,058 in 1981,
to 1,162
in 1987. Incompatibility was the cause given for about 90
percent
of divorces. The highest frequency of divorce occurred in
the first
year of marriage.
Data as of January 1991
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