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North Korea Family Life
The family is regarded by North Korean authorities as a
"cell," or basic unit of society, but not an economic entity. A
person participates in production in a cooperative, factory, or
office and individually earns "work points." Although on a
socialist cooperative payment for work points earned by family
members goes to the family unit as a whole, the family head--the
father or the grandfather--no longer manages and organizes the
family's economic life.
Both in urban areas and in socialist cooperatives, family
size tends to be small--between four and five people and usually
no more than two generations, as opposed to the three generations
or more found in the traditional "big house." Parents often live
with their youngest, rather than oldest, son and his wife.
Observers discovered, however, that sons are still more desired
than daughters for economic reasons and for continuing the family
name. The eldest son's wedding is a lavish affair compared with
those of his brothers. But the traditionally oppressive
relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law common to
East Asian countries seems to have been fundamentally
transformed. A South Korean source reported that an overly
demanding mother-in-law might be criticized by a local branch of
women's organizations such as the Korean Democratic Women's
Union.
A Korean-American scholar learned in discussions with North
Korean officials in the early 1980s that a wife's inability to
bear a son still gives a husband grounds for divorce. If a man
desires a divorce, he has to obtain his wife's permission. A
woman, however, is able to divorce without her husband's consent.
A South Korean source reported the opposite--that it is easier
for a husband to obtain a divorce than it is for a wife. Divorce
from those branded "reactionaries," or "bad elements," is granted
rather easily in the case of either gender and in fact often is
strongly encouraged by the authorities. In general, the
authorities seem to discourage divorce with the exceptions noted
above. Eberstadt and Banister, using statistics provided by the
Central Statistics Bureau, indicate that the number of divorces
granted annually between 1949 and 1987 ranged between 3,000 and
5,000 (a low of 3,021 in 1965 and a high of 4,763 in 1949).
The legal age for males to marry is eighteen years; for
females, seventeen years. Marrying in one's late twenties or
early thirties is common because of work and military service
obligations; late marriage also affects fertility rates. Most
marriages seem to be between people in the same rural cooperative
or urban enterprise. Traditional arranged marriages have by and
large disappeared, in favor of "love matches"; nevertheless,
children still seem to seek their parents' permission before
getting married. The taking of secondary wives, a common practice
in traditional times, is prohibited.
Wedding ceremonies are much simpler and less costly than in
traditional times. However, they still contain such practices as
meetings between families of the bride and groom, gift exchanges,
formal letters of proposal, and wedding feasts. Among farming
families, weddings usually take place after the fall harvest and
before the spring plowing; this is when families have the most
resources to invest and the bride can bring her yearly income
from work points to her new household.
In 1946 the North Korean regime confiscated the remaining
lineage land, and the elaborate ceremonies of the past lost their
economic base. Since that time, the traditional ceremonies
surrounding death and veneration of the ancestors have been
simplified. The remains are no longer carried in a special
carriage, but, in rural areas, in a cart or tractor. One Korean
source reported that at the funeral of his grandmother in North
Korea incense was offered in front of a photograph of the
deceased; the source also said that the ceremony generally
retains the outlines of the traditional rites. Relatives and
neighbors apparently still donate some money to the family of the
deceased. Some "revolutionary" content has been added to funeral
practices. One traditional chant has been rewritten to include
the phrase "though this body is deceased, the spirit of the
revolution still lives." Widowers frequently remarry, but widows
rarely do.
Gravesites are still preserved and remain a common feature of
the North Korean landscape. According to one observer, if
construction projects necessitate disturbing graves, relatives
are notified beforehand, and graves are carefully relocated. If
no relative claims the graves, they are still relocated
elsewhere. The custom of visiting graves at certain times of the
year apparently continues, even though large kinship groups
cannot meet--not because the state has prohibited it, but because
the groups are scattered across the country and travel
restrictions make it difficult for them to get together.
In households in which both parents work and no grandparents
live nearby, infants over three months usually are placed in a
t'agaso (nursery). They remain in these nurseries until
they are four years old. Although t'agaso are not part of
the compulsory education system, most families find them
indispensable. In the early 1970s, North Korean statistics
counted 8,600 t'agaso. The nurseries not only free women
from child care but also provide infants and small children with
the foundations of a thorough ideological and political
education. A South Korean source reported that when meals are
given to the infants, they are expected to give thanks to a
portrait of "Father Kim Il Sung."
Data as of June 1993
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